SuHaiDaH ~~

Hey guys! So I told you that I'll be updating about my band practices and concerts right? Well, here it is. I know I know... It's been like 3 months since I told you. I'm sorry. I'm back in Singapore now and I've been busy with work and my social life and family. I worked back at Esprit since they are more than willing to re-hire me. So, I'm so sorry guys! but here it is. My band life back in Year 2 of PU. So I started the year by sitting in the 3rd trumpet seat (my favourite seat). I have 2 other section mates. So it's like we're solo-ing our own parts. It was okay. No problem for me. The first concert was with other art societies like dance and acapella and the jazz band. It was okay. Though, I have never not been nervous for a concert before. I always have jitters before a concert. A week before, A day, even an hour before my jitters start to come but I ALWAYS have jitters. For this concerts and all the following concerts with PUCB, I didn't h...

As you all know, I am currently doing second year in uni. Which is actually my first year. Because of certain exemptions due to being in the Singapore Maritime Academy for my Diploma. Now. I know I have not updated this blog in a while because I have been busy with school and uni is well, crazy. Crazy like busy studying and doing coursework essays and reports, crazy. Uhh, actually people here are crazy as well. So my first semester went okay. Not too bad. I did as expected for my first semester. Way better than I would've done if I was my poly self. Because my poly self is too self involved in herself that she neglects her study until the very fucking last minute before exams. So yeah. I did as good as I expected myself before coming here. Taking a step at a time. It's okay. I know that I am slow. Slow learner. So I kinda work extra hard to get to where everybody is at. A lot of people say I am just too lazy to study. But if your brain don't function as fast as other peop...

Hey guys! It has almost been 2 months since school started and it has been pretty good so far. 3 modules this semester and coursework questions are out! For all 3 of them. Deadlines? They are all within 2 weeks of each other. First coursework is due 17th November which is 10 days away. Second is 30th November and the last one is 6th December. Starting to feel the pressure. Hahaha The questions seems easy but there's actually more to it than what it really seems. Like the slogan for Tranformers: More than meets the eye. HAHAHA. Lots of critical and creative thinking needed for these coursework. And reading. Not that I don't like reading. I do. I really do. But it is forced reading so there's not much motivation, you see. I don't have a choice do I? I really need to read to pass. Well, not exactly book reading. More on article and journals for academics. Well, pray for me guys. Or just wish me good luck. I really need to do well this time round. Got to be a well-...

Hey guys! Finally have started school. It's Wednesday and I'm done for the first week. HAH! How 'bout that? Anyway, University life and poly is very different. Poly is like when you're about 3 or 4 years old and your mum is kinda feeding you but you also feed yourself kind of thing, you know. University is when you are 5 years old; your mother will tell you what to eat and you feed yourself. Well, at least that's what degree is like. I can't imagine people taking their Master's Degree and PHD. *Oh, and one of my housemate, the Spanish girl, sutdies PHD in marine sciences.* So, A LOT of self study which is honestly not what I am up to. I already have an assessment to do. Deadline is in 3 months and I have no fucking idea what to do. So, yay for me! And it's like 50%. I can't even... So I mentioned in my previous post that I have a housemate that already moved in before I did. For the sake of privacy, let's call him J. He's British and ...

It has been 2 weeks since I've arrived in the UK. So I toured a bit of London before coming to Plymouth.  LONDON I was a very boring tourist. Actually, I'm really not. My aunts are. They went to the usual places like Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, London Eye, Buckingham Palace, etc. Which is cool but I wanted to see more such as their business area; the Lloyd's Building and all. Places not a lot of tourists go, you see. But it's alright I guess, I loved it. The Changing of Guards at the Buckingham Palace was great. There's the marching band and all. Damn, I like that part best. Hahaha. It brought back a lot of memories.  We went to the Harry Potter studio as well. Gosh! I wish I could live there! It was AMAZING! I don't really know how to explain it to you guys. All the props, the costumes, behind the scenes, the drawings, models of all the buildings including the MAJESTIC school. Greatest thing I've ever seen. I can't even begin to express my feel...

Hey guys, So I have only 27 more days left till I leave for UK. Scary and exciting.  I've been working with Esprit for 3 months already. It doesn't seem to be that long. I've got 3 more weeks left of work then it's all about getting ready to leave. Everybody seem so nice over there and they keep saying that they don't wanna let me go. I had a few good compliments from the people there. Saying that I'm versatile and a good worker. I don't just stand around doing nothing. I offer assistance to my other colleagues. Apparently I could also catch the flow of what customers need. I'm deeply grateful and appreciative of all these comments. Thank you so much Esprit team.  I always look forward to working on the weekdays coz I get to work with Amiraa eventhough she only works until 5.30pm coz she's a VM (visual merchandiser). I especially look forward to working with her. And also Nadiah! She's so cute and funny. Kecoh store. Hahaha. Coming to the...

So I've found myself a temporary job, a part-time job at Esprit as a retail assistant. I've had a part time job before back in 2011 when I worked as a temporary payroll assistant. But that was working in the office, 5 days a week kinda job. Doesn't really feel like a part-time job. This, working as a retail assistant, working during weekends, with so many off days feels like a part-time job. I was really glad I found a job. This job. Though I kind of feel like I was downgrading myself. From an office person who should be still working at Senat Shipping got retrenched and started working in retail. Thought I wasn't really going to enjoy working as a front liner in retail because it is way way outside my comfort zone. I was wrong. It has been 3 weeks in since I have started working at Esprit and I am really enjoying it. I really do. Serving customers (fucking strangers) and other retail stuff (you know, folding clothes and such). So far, I have not yet encountered stu...

First 2 months of 2016 was good. Nothing bad happened except for the fact that I couldn't still find a house to rent in Plymouth. Come first Friday of March, my manager and I got called down to the cafe by our boss. Dropped a huge ass bomb on us. First he talked about how the maritime industry isn't doing well. Then, he goes on to saying that the company isn't doing well. Then he told us that we are going to be laid off. Retrenched. Damn... With 6 more months left in Singapore, I cannot afford to be laid off work now. 6 months may seem enough time for employers to hire part-timers. But I'm going to Bali in April. Leaving on 3rd of September and I probably need time to sort out my things before leaving Singapore for 2 years. So, that will leave me with about 3-4 months. Would any employer hire someone just for that few months?  Before the news, I could not wait for August to come so that I could finally leave the company. But I would not have thought that it ...

I can't help but feel like I owe people. Whenever people ask me for favours I just tell them okay because I feel like I owe them at least them. But I can't help to feel like if I have something I need to ask from them, they'll simply say no. Even if I put the needs of others before my own. Well, they don't know that. They don't know what I've sacrificed to help them. They don't know how much they mean to me. They don't know I've suffered (a little) just so I could help them. To them, I help them because they think it won't backfire on me. So they could say no if I ask them for help. Which is why I don't ask for help. Personal help. Money. I don't have lots of money. I earned to save for school. I've lost so much and one 1 person knows about this. I've lost so much I feel miserable. My parents are helping me so much but I feel like I couldn't ever repay them back. But whenever my friends ask me for help on this, I just help...

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS! It's 2016!! 2015 have past and damn am I glad it is. Although I couldn't run away from the unsolved problems I had then, I pray it will be resolved soon.. So on another note, I have a feeling that 2016 will be a good year. Spent NYE almost perfectly with PG (almost because Bry popped the champagne 5 seconds earlier before midnight). As long as we're together, that year will be awesome! Well, 2015 ain't that bad. It's just the year I turned 21. And I got an offer to go study overseas! And I got my Class 3 license! And yeah, that is basically it for 2015 for me I guess. Hmm, the rest are just downfall. For instance:- 1. I got scolded many times about work. 2. My company is now known worldwide and not because of good things. 3. No 2 made things worst for the company. 4. I rented a car and crashed it. Now my family is $10k down. (WORST DOWNFALL EVER) 5. Made the MOST STUPID AND WORST decision ever by saying yes to someone who asked me to...

Be happy. Be happy for everyone. Even if it's for the person you don't know or don't like. Doesn't matter. But especially, be happy for the people you love. No matter how jealous you are of them. Just be happy. Being happy for someone doesn't just make you feel better, it'll motivate you to do better. Yes, you might feel sad about yourself because you're not getting what the other person has but at the least, you're kinda happy that they are happy. Be happy for others. Don't let other people's success or happiness bring you down because you don't have a fucking clue what shitty messed up things they had to go through to be where they are, be what they are now. It's nice to be happy for others. Trust me. Put a smile on their faces as well as yours. Though you know inside you're jealous as fuck but you know that you are hapy for them as well, no matter who they are. Keep smiling, Suhaidah

I absolutely don't mind people ranting their work / personal problems to me. I don't. After a while, it gets too personal and they say stuff like "I'm not good enough" "I'm such a failure" "I feel so demotivated" "I feel so useless". I just don't know what to reply to them. I feel like slapping their fucking faces so hard that my hand mark on their face stays for a week. All i can say to them is "you're doing fine" "You're new, once you got the hang of things, it'll be alright" What do you want me to say? So different people handle things differently. For me, I just keep quiet. If I blow up, only I know. Yes, I have best friends. But I don't wanna bother them with silly crap in my head. I know that is what best friends are for. But see, they tell me their problems. And I think, "If I were to tell my problems out to them, it'll just pile on them more." That's why I don...

Saying, "I love myself" is always easy. You're telling yourself that's you're fine just the way you are.  Accepting that fact though, that's tough. No doubt some people have actually legitimately love themselves but the most of us in the world, we just say that we love ourselves.  But do we? I know I have this problem. I keep telling myself, telling people that I love me. And God knows how much I do love myself. Like seriously, only God knows. I know to some extent I do, but how much? That, I don't. Accepting other people is easier than accepting ourselves. Because we have high standards of ourselves and we want to achieve them. If we can't, that is when self denial starts. We tell ourselves it is enough what God has given us. But we always want more. We want to be prettier, cuter, richer. We look at the magazines, the ads, the movies, TV shows. We see the actors and models and we want to be like them. Inspire to be like them. Based on...

It's 2015!!!!! It is finally 2015 and I am so looking forward to incredible things that are going to happen! 2014 was a blessed year for me! These are a few things why:- 1. I graduated from Singapore Maritime Academy, Singapore Polytechnic with a Diploma in Maritime Business 2. I got a job before I officially graduated 3. I got confirmed with a slight increment in my pay! 4. I learnt a lot of new things (work, personally) 5. I turned 20! Being that I am no longer a teenager and I have a full-time job now, apparently, I still do not know what to do with my life still. All I know is that I am going to continue my studies in 2017 and that is still a long way to go.. kinda. Even with the job that I have now, I still do not know what to pursue in this HUGE industry, Maritime.  So this year, 2015, I am aiming to list down a few things that I might be interested in, in the near future. I won't decide what I am going to do now as I am afraid that I might regr...

So somebody posted this on facebook with a reponse "What are we waiting for then?" First thing first. All of the items listed above, EVERYONE in this world buys them. EVERYONE! You wanna get 7 billion people to boycott them? Really? Let's not talk about the whole world right now. Just Muslims. You can't possibly get the whole Muslim society to boycott the Israelis. YOU CAN'T!  Yes, we can try to not buy all these products but somewhere along the way, YOU WILL BUY IT! There's no denying in that.  I am a Muslim myself and I'm not saying that I am supporting Israel because what if the only food you have around you is McDonald's? What if the only coffee you can ever buy is Starbucks and Nestle? You not going to buy them and starve? You got to be realistic. There is approximately 1.6 billion Muslims around the world. You CANNOT expect this number to boycott them because the rest of the 5.4 billion people are going to keep buying them. And what ...

"You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever" - Neil Patrick Harris (Barney Stinson - HIMYM) Words I would most definitely want to use one day. But until then...

Today is lazy, dozing off day for me. I have no idea why but I just am too tired to do any work. See that guy in the picture, that's me for 3 times now since morning. and its 1315 hours. Being that its the Ramadhan month, no food doesn't really equals to no energy. Well, for me, that's true today. I must remember to eat something tomorrow. Sleepy as fuck. xoxo, Suhaidah

Sometimes its hard letting go of someone but you'll soon come to realize that whenever there's light, there is also the dark and like the night, even if you are in the middle of nowhere, the moon shines ever so brightly upon you and for that there's hope. PS. Even if the moon isn't there to shine tonight, tomorrow, it'l be there. There's always tomorrow. Love, SuHaiDah~

So my friends accidentally looked up Sp-Maranek when they wanted to find typed SP Val (they wanted to search for Singapore Polytechnic Valedictorians). They kept singing the song all the while when we're eating so they introduced me to the song. I find it very nice and got hooked up like they did. So I went home and kinda researched on him and watched his other videos. It was about a week away from my finals and I was doing whatever I was doing. Turns out, he can RAP! HAHAHA! He's other songs are okay but what really caught me was the song Maradnek. So the week that i had to study, which i actually studied, I kept listening to that song over and over again. Kept singing it with my friends in the study area. He is one awesome dude. And a good looking one at that.  Wandering off,  Suhaidah

So in all honesty, I'm really quite annoyed with certain people.  There is a saying that if a relationship is too clean, with no fights there is something wrong with the relationship. Not saying that I have a boyfriend but it applies to friends as well to my theory. Me and my friends. I'm fact all of my friends; my different cliques. We fight, annoyingly, but we are always forgiving of each other. Fighting is good. It means that we are exploring each other's flaws weaknesses and limits. So getting back to my point, certain people can't take these fights and too fragile to handle these stuffs. Swear I am damn annoyed with these kind of people. I mean it's not that I do not like them. Just that this is a dog eat dog world and fights are prone to happened and ruin your life maybe but you gotta learn how to get back up on your fucking own to be able to live on. Hardened yourself people. SuHaiDah~