SuHaiDaH ~~

He is a fucking pain in the ass to be around with! He's one hell of a nut job!! Haha! But I love him nevertheless. I am most vulgar with him and him with me too. I am most me with him I think. The most me. The one who doesn't care what she wears as long as it is presentable to where I'm going or what event I am attending. The one who kick asses every time! The one who doesn't care to be recognized. The one who will smack faces of girls staring at me. Anyway, I love him too damn much to ever forget he is EVERY FUCKING WORTH A FRIEND! (: <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

What's the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? So, in my pocket list, I added: Jumping off a cliff! (:

performing arts. my passion, my love. though i'm still an amatuer in playing the trumpet, i still love playing it. and i will try my best to get every note right. SPARKSWINDS. That's the name of my current band. its an alumni band of three schools. yhcb, rvcb and pjsb. it is of the most important to me now. the most probably last concert that the band might do. i want this concert to be a damn good one, last concert or not. 13 practices till the 13 january. i ain't gonna fuck this up. only 13 practices to go. ain't a lot.

Have a blessed ramadhan this year! ((:

This is us 3 years ago. This will be us till the almighty takes us away. <3

One hell of a sailing ship! 💙

It's just that isn't it? I make effort but all is just washed out by the drain. Can't you guys see and look at me. Really, what am I worth?

Loneliness is always looking for a friend It found me once and it has been around since then Loneliness is never waiting by the door It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored Why, Why was I chosen? Why am I left without? The love of my life, the love that I need The love that they say is in life for free The love of dreams, The love that I want Loneliness knows me by name Loneliness knows everything I keep inside My endless thoughts in the silence of the night Loneliness is the one who made me see Ain't nobody else who can make the change but me Why, Why am I chosen? Why am I left without The love of my life, The love that I need The love that they say is in life for free The love of dreams. The love that I want Loneliness knows me by name Less is more an that would be the vacant space The cried out tears and a never ending maze I have found what only loneliness provides A strength within knowing I will find

Almost every single day, i see you. I could tell you everything i want but this is something that i can't. For what is worth, it is for the best for everybody. 

Ever want this??? Hmm...

Have you ever felt so lonely though you are surrounded by the people who loves you. I have. And it hurts. ): Still, you don't really have the courage to say it coz they love you and you love them. You don't want them to feel bad that they made you feel lonely right? Hmm. I don't share my problem with my friends. And I don't want to. Feels like they won't really be interested in my stories and I'm just a bother. They will say, "no la sue, just tell" but I don't know what they're thinking inside don't I. Sigh... You can't please everybody right? (':

See I know. No matter what I feel, you are just too far away and too high for me to reach. Is it foolish of me then? Will you look at me? I'm right here. I'm waiting.

Honestly, i'm kind of disappointed that this year's concert is cancelled. i know cancelling the concert is all for a good cause. Ms Chan is sick and I am concerned about her health, truly. of course, even though we'll tell her that she doesn't have to worry and stress, she will somehow stress herself unknowingly.. damn. sigh.. what do you expect from a teacher? anyway, SPARKSWINDS is always #1 in my heart! though my priorities change.. ): xoxo,

seriously, parents; no matter how much they say they love their children equally, IT IS NEVER TRUE!! there is always a favourite and it may not be the smartest or the prettiest or the handsomest of the siblings. its really not about favoritism that i encountered with my mom tonight. more of a who's at fault it really is. sometimes, i feel as though my mum doesn't really know or understands me like she say she does. she sees me at home but rarely asks me about school... well, it'll be kinda weird for her to be asking me such questions about school at my age. but she could ask like about my achievements and such. i play the trumpet and she has seen me in concert once but she hasn't seen me played solo before. or has she? i don't think so. and about the camp, she knows i help out for the organizing committee but is she proud of me that i got the post? i don't know. HOWEVER, she is proud of my brother who got 4th place for his sec 1 normal academic cohort but he'

For you - amirul, Sahira, Abbie and those who are reading this post now, NO, I don't like him. I'm seeing somebody else so yeah.. (: And thanks for reading my blog! (: xoxo,

hey guys! gonna go overseas again, the second time this month. obviously, most of the journey will be in the middle of the sea but, we'll have fun! going on Super Star Virgo today!!!! WEEEEE~ it's a cruise, she is 12 years old now! and my friends who have been on her said it was awesome! and i wanted to try it myself and here i am today, telling you about it! (: haahah! it's going to be exhilarating with the clique and all! (: WOOOOTS!! :D it's a 4 days 3 night trip. not that long but it's gonna be memorable i believe! (: i know so! so yeah man! getting ready now! boarding at 12+. i'll update again soon! xoxo

My beloved twin!! (: love you so much! <3

does he really? I've been hurt. it'll take a lot of convincing to actually have me fall for somebody again. those feelings just won't come back on its own. it need persuasion and convincing. but what do i have in me that you like? i'm kinda rowdy and not do feminine. why do you still like me? do you even like me in the first place? well, i don't know. people say you are putting in effort but i don't really see it though. i'm sorry. man, you gotta do more. i'll try opening up my heart slowly. i mean, it's just a matter of time. anyway, you are going sailing soon and i won't see you for another 6 months least, 8 months most. i'm gonna somehow miss you and probably think about you when you're gone. xoxo.

Exam is starting tomorrow. First paper: Maritime Economics. I'm scared of the papers. ): I don't want to fail but I can't seem to study. So irritated, distracted, lazy. I drift off after 5 minutes of studying. I'm losing my mind.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! (: went to Abbie's place today to cook and chill with sahira and amirul. amirul went off first to his BBQ at SAFRA. Saiful came when sahira and i wanted to go home. (: IT WAS A SUPER GREAT TIME AT ABBIE'S!! (: <3 when i came home, i was alone coz my parents went to johor and my siblings went to Batam. when my dad wanted to leave the house, i told my father to bring along my mum's key. he didn't.. what?! omg!! damn it !! now i have to wait for my mum to come home!! Fuck la!! omg!! stupid or what?! want to say my father stupid, he my father. want to say otherwise also not right. he's not even in between. -___- omg!! don't know what to say! i'm so damn fucking bloody angry at him! people told you to bring the key you never bring!! DEAF IS IT?! OR DUMB? WHERE IN THE MOTHER OF FUCK IS YOUR EARS AND BRAIN??!!!! OMG! i feel like smacking, punching, smashing your whole body to the wall!! no words can express my anger! only Allah knows. a

It's the beginning of the NewYear and it has been great!! ...so far... Went for countdown at Esplanade Waterfront and watch the fireworks display! DAMN AWESOME!! (: before the countdown, we payed poker and I was like!! WOOOTS!!! I beat Brandon Kang!! Hahaha!! Do you know how amazing that felt??? My gosh. To beat him at poker is something that I wouldn't like to bet on but well, hahaha!!! So yup!! TOTALLY AMAZING TONIGHT!! Was gonna sing "tonight's gonna be a good night" just now. And I thank god I didn't. Hahaha!! Listened to Abbie's stories when he was in NS. Whenever they sing that song, that night was just calls after calls!! Hahaha!! Damn was hilarious just now!! Went to Marina Square to buy drinks and we can't go back in coz they blocked every single way into Esplanade. Damn it was annoying!! Hahaha but lucky we made in time for the countdown! (; took the last train home and I'm in bed now!! (: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Lovely readers!! xoxo,